Written by Sydnie M Dorma
breathing used to be slow and steady
an all encompassing feeling.
now it is like swimming in deep water.
your head becomes heavy from all the dense pressure caging you under.
yet, your heart and limbs feel light.
I’ll keep you like a breath
taken in when needed
but exhaled out just the same.
I’ll keep you like death
long awaited and mind-torturing
but inevitable.
I’ll keep you like music
euphoric
the last thing I hear before my last breath.
I won’t sit back and watch things wither away. that would make me a lazy gardener.
I rather sit back and watch a hot sun turn gray than hear a hollow “I love you.”
my fears are drying me out
that I don’t even feel them anymore.
an endless empty glass
no matter how thirsty.
breathe because you’ve been here before.
the shaken devil that is your mind are more flowers than weeds.
teach yourself to look at the wilted petals as a friend. it hurts
but it won’t break you.
it will become homesick if you
refuse to be its permanent.
become its favorite northern vacation.
alienate it instead of yourself.
it will fade long before you do.
if i am stuck with you
I hope to be left with a tan
not a burn.
if I am scarred by you
I hope to be marked by things as soft as cotton and sweet as honey.
if I am to cry by you
it shall be in thanks to the rain sticking to my cheeks.
when did we come outside?