The glass child

The overlooked experience of what it’s like to be the sibling of someone with a disability.

Written by Julia Lastic

For those who don’t know, April is Autism Awareness Month. April 2 is World Autism Awareness Day, which seems like the most fitting day to be writing this article. Growing up with an older sister who has autism, I have been involved in the autism community from a very young age. I was immersed in the world through countless therapies, disability camps, awareness walks and more. Autism awareness is a topic that I feel extremely passionate about and something I have always advocated for. In this article, I want to reflect and share my personal experience of being the sibling of a person who has autism and shed light on the overlooked experience of being “the glass child.”

A glass child is the sibling of an individual who has a disability. Our siblings with disabilities require more needs and attention than we do. This is why we are referred to as glass, we are “see-through” or overlooked by our guardians. Before I continue, I want to make it clear that I don’t mean glass children are neglected or ignored by their parents because that is not true. Nor am I complaining about my sister getting extra attention because she needs it. I’m writing this to raise awareness among others who share my experience, as well as parents, so they can better understand and support glass children.

From an early age, glass children observe our siblings requiring more needs and attention from us and our guardians. This subconsciously teaches us to minimize our own emotional, psychological or physical needs. Our personal needs feel less important compared to our siblings, so we learn to put others before our own. As a result of this, glass children often find it difficult telling people how they feel. On the other hand, some glass children feel the need to seek attention in various ways due to their guardians’ focus on their siblings’ needs. These effects can lead to many long-term consequences and can struggle to form healthy relationships.

Although there are some emotional disadvantages to being a glass child, there are many other positive effects that shape us into strong individuals. Since our parents are less focused on us, we learn to handle things on our own. We tend to be more responsible and independent from a young age compared to others. Since we also grow up involved in an inclusive environment, we are naturally more empathic, compassionate and nurturing to others. Many glass children go through life advocating for others with disabilities and other marginalized groups. As for me, I am channeling my passion and personal experience of disabilities by pursuing my master’s degree in special education. If you or somebody you know is a glass child, take time to recognize their unspoken strength, resilience and deep empathy.

I owe everything to my sister, Allison. The challenges and journey we have been through together has shaped me into the strong, resilient and empathic person I am today. I am forever thankful for the lessons she taught me. I will always love her unconditionally.