Tearing Down A Heart That's Not Yours
Written by Chau Tang
You keep calling to make sure we’re okay.
I think of all the times I’ve cried today.
I still said I’m fine.
Keeping the tears in, when I’m about to explode.
It seems you tried to convert me to pressure me to be straight.
You say it’s a sin, and God can’t be with sin when you die.
Implying I will go to hell.
I’ve asked you to stop several times, politely
You said you’re hitting me with the truth, it’s all in the scriptures you say.
You don’t even care that I’m hurting.
You say we all live selfishly because we’re not listening to Him and living how He intended.
So, should I be miserable for the rest of my life?
Do you expect me to just be single and shouldn’t experience the fun in dating and/or marriage?
Is that the way God really wants me to live?
I guess I was a fool to have a conversation about religion with you.
You don’t intend for me to be hurt,
yet I am.
I was doing so well with my mental health, yet you’re the one who broke the cycle.
This pain won’t last forever, for that I believe,
Happiness is still with me.
Yet you say happiness is only a fleeting emotion.
That it is not forever and we should experience joy by giving our life to Him.
This conversation will not leave my brain.
I haven’t been able to concentrate for the past few days.
You’re asking me, no,
telling me I should be someone I’m not.
Just because I’m bi, you think there’s a chance for me to be a totally normal person.
That I shall marry a man, have children and pass the knowledge of religion to them.
For the two years we’ve been friends,
you should’ve known I will never be a normal person.
If I could, I wouldn’t have feelings for the same sex.
Yet, I do anyways.
Not by choice.
People tend to think I have the option of being bi.
You can’t help who you have feelings for.
All of humanity should have known already.
Why do you marry the guy you’re dating?
Why are you going after that girl who won’t give you a second glance?
A guy sees a girl who he can’t help but like and it’s okay for him to go after her.
Yet, if a girl did the same for a girl, it’s wrong and unnatural.
In both situations, the feelings for the other are the same.
We preach, “Love Thy Neighbor,” or, “Don’t judge or you’ll be judged.”
Yet people can’t practice what they preach.
For most people, the bible is the truth and they use it to hurt others.
People say, “I’m just speaking the truth.”
it’s just an excuse.
If you’re getting backlash from it, don’t be surprised.