An aggressive, growth-oriented plan for emerging from CSU 2.0
Written by: Cameron Mays
At the tender age of twenty-one, I already feel I am at the senile age seventy-one. I base this feeling on the fact I have surrendered to technology. My newfound interest in doing nothing, and my general disdain for Silicon Valley, has eclipsed my capacity to care for computer chips. With that, I have decided to go total Luddite. I smash the computers that will one day replace me. I hold protests in the Public Square against the devolution of humankind by way of laptops. Converting my educational habits was not the slightest bit difficult; I have friends print out and mail my emails to me, and my professors are more than willing to convert all of their PowerPoints to VHS.
The timing of my technological temperance came at the worst possible time. Cleveland State sent out an email survey (which was then printed out and mailed to me) for CSU 2.0, its plan for growth post-COVID-19. I could not have been more excited to share with the architects of this plan my ideas and feelings. I, of course, had no idea what CSU 2.0 was all about, but I already had several opinions. I ran to my laptop to fill out this survey, and swiftly rediscovered my Hewlett-Packard was a pile of rubble, destroyed by my adoption of the practices of radical 18th-century English textile workers. I spent the next days and nights rebuilding my computer, just to fill out the CSU 2.0 survey. Like a phoenix rising from Arizona, the computer was reborn, I hopped on my email and I began filling out the survey.
My lascivious dalliance with Ned Ludd’s namesake movement stunted my technological ability. My attempts to figure out how the survey thing worked failed like a caught fish attempting to return to the sea. After an agonizing eight-and-a-half minutes, I gave up, my last battle with unintuitive operating systems ending in a bitter defeat. Regardless of my inability to fill out a survey, I knew I had to get my opinions on CSU 2.0 to the public. Although I do not live on or near campus and I rarely use any campus facilities, I feel that I have a strong grasp of the needs of the Viking Community. It may be too late for me to change CSU 2.0, but it might be just the right time for me to start CSU 3.0. What’s my ideas for our beloved campus and campus community? Check out my video: CSU 3.0