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A Definitive Ranking of Every Wing Wednesday

Which week of the fall semester had the best Wing Wednesday?

Written by Sophie Farrar

Most days, a trip into the CSU’s dining hall leaves you disappointed and still hungry. Partially raw meat, vegetables that are either undercooked or overcooked (but seemingly never in between) and pizza that can give you an upset stomach by just looking at it greet you as you lap around the room looking for something edible. If you’re lucky, you’ll find your favorite milk alternative and make a bowl of cereal for a meal. If not, fries and a bread roll will temporarily satiate your growling stomach.

Most days, though, do not include Wednesdays. From 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Wednesdays, Viking Marketplace serves their weekly Wing Wednesday meal. Wings with three different sauces (that vary with the week — but typically buffalo, barbeque and honey mustard), waffle fries, carrots and celery take over the dining hall. Finally, a light in the darkness for students that rely on the dining hall for their meals.

Something magical happens in that room during Wing Wednesdays. It doesn’t matter if the wings themselves are actually tasty — all that matters is that they’re there. Somehow, during the seven days between one Wing Wednesday and the next, you forget if the last one was actually that appetizing or not. Unless you keep track.

During last fall semester, I proudly attended every Wing Wednesday with my roommate, Celeste Zirm, and took notes of each week’s highs and lows. My extensive research and dedication has given me the ability to definitively rank each Wing Wednesday of the fall semester from best to worst.

1. Week 1

The surprise factor of the first Wing Wednesday could never be beat. The scent of breaded chicken traveling from the dining hall to the courtyard drew us in and we could never go back. Everything was scrumptious. Especially the plain wings that were an option Week 1 and, sadly, never again. There’s something special about a simple breaded chicken wing. First week, first place.

2. Week 15

Week 15 saw an upswing after a rough few weeks in a row. The wings were enjoyable, the fries were both hot and tasty and there was a holiday dessert charcuterie board. Overall, it was pretty successful. However, the vibes were easily the worst experienced on a Wing Wednesday. Celeste and I went at 12:30 p.m. compared to our usual 11:15 a.m., a possible culprit behind the bad vibes. We couldn’t find a table until our second lap around the room and just didn’t rock with the people there. Even with its rotten energy, the food was simply too good to rank it lower.

3. Week 10

Week 10 greeted us with fresh wings and fries — a rarity! The veggies were also pretty good this week. Nothing to complain about here.

4. Week 8

Week 8 began the dining hall’s brief romance with lunchtime macaroni and cheese. She was a reliable addition the short two weeks she was there. Week 8 also had fresh skinny carrots — Celeste’s preferred carrot shape. The famed papaya orange guava juice (POG) juice was also back after one of its frequent disappearances from the dining hall’s juice selection. Overall, Week 8 was a week of wins.

5. Week 9

Week 9’s wings were what had come to be expected of them. They weren’t the worst and weren’t the best, simply just okay. The fries were fine, but the veggies were bad. Despite this all, there was macaroni and cheese again, giving Week 9 its Top 5 placement. Week 9 gave us hope that macaroni and cheese would be a new Wing Wednesday fixture. It was not.

6. Week 6

Week 6 saw another uprise in food quality after a few truly tough weeks. The wings and fries were both good and fresh. Cookie decorating was a fun bonus. Celeste’s skinny carrots were available, but our favored drinks were not. Overall, it was a nice break from the previous weeks’ poor performances.

7. Week 2

Week 2’s only note is “fun cupcake.” What was this “fun cupcake” you ask? She was a chocolate cupcake decorated to look like an ice cream sundae. Fun indeed.

8. Week 3

The wings Week 3 weren’t great. There was no variety in flavors (and the beginning of the brutal reality that was week after week of nothing but buffalo, barbeque and honey mustard), but we discovered the veggies. A beacon of hope. Baby carrots and celery are staples for wing eating.

9. Week 11

We saw some variety in wing flavor. There was no buffalo, so I partook in chili garlic. They were okay, but not groundbreaking. Most importantly, the wings were fresh — an essential deciding factor in whether they are tasty or not. The fries were good, but the desserts were lacking. They had Celeste’s skinny carrots as well, which is always a win.

10. Week 5

Week 5 closes out our Top 10. The wings were good and the waffle fries were (thankfully) back after a dreadful previous week without them. This week did not have any skinny carrots, but the waffle fries’ comeback put it in the Top 10, despite its shortcomings.

11. Week 16

The very last Wing Wednesday of the semester was a unique one. We came at our normal time, but it was not busy at all, presumably because of finals week. The wings and fries were good. They were exactly what was expected. The veggies were also good, but there was no beloved POG juice. We were disappointed in the lack of a fun surprise for the last Wing Wednesday of the semester, but perhaps the peacefulness of the dining hall was it.

12. Week 14

Celeste joined me at our normal time after missing the Wing Wednesday the week before. The sweet chili wings were good. The fries were not warm, but edible nonetheless. The veggies were also better after being bad the week before.

13. Week 12

Almost everything was good — the veggies, the fries and the sweet chili wings. Unfortunately, the buffalo wings were cold, and Celeste had something concerningly crunchy in the middle of one of her wings that was not breading.

14. Week 13

Week 13 was rough. Celeste could not join me, so our other roommate, Abby Jarvis, tagged along. Abby joining is the only thing saving this week from being in the bottom two. Wings? Not warm. Fries? Borderline cold. Carrots? Good. Celery? So bad we didn’t even get any. Abby and I came at noon instead of the normal time, which could’ve partially played a role. There was definitely a pattern in the change of routine resulting in poor Wing Wednesday performances.

15. Week 7

Week 7 saw Wing Wednesday at one of her lowest points. The wings were not good. There were barely any waffle fries. However, the veggies were good. There were also ice cream sandwiches, a definite win. Unfortunately, POG juice was missing again. It’s hard to enjoy Wing Wednesday without your favorite silly little drink.

16. Week 4

Week 4 was a bad scene and rightfully earned its place as the worst Wing Wednesday of the fall semester. Unfortunately, we encountered our first and only raw wing. The dining hall’s usual behavior had infected Wing Wednesday’s bubble. There were also no waffle fries, which was just plain evil. How they could take something so joyous away from us is incomprehensible. The only wins were that the veggies were good and that there were skinny carrots. All Wing Wednesdays are good Wing Wednesdays at their core. Except for when you are served raw meat.

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